7/1/07
New Record & hot young 2nd bass player with a HUGE cock!
That's right, we are excited to finally officially announce we are ALMOST done with the new full length record (yet to be titled) that has been in the works since late last year. We promise you'll love it! 'Why', you ask? Well not to spoil anything but it does feature some intricate '"deep space 9" style leads courtesy of the sometimes shirtless, chip n' dale-esque Tai Ma, and the freshest synth breakdown AFI could never dream of pulling together. So saddle up and get ready to ride because these boys' new record will surely get your little corn-horn throbbing, and will take you on the mystical journey of your life through the uncharted land of the unicorn. Our new midievil masterpiece will most likely land on the shelves of probably about 1 store sometime later this year; which, in unicorn time, means sometime in the year 2012.

In other news, as Jon Jamieson is getting smarter and shit loads of pussy in Japan for a couple years, Tom 'evil kenievle' Arnott formerly of Dustin's hardcore punk outfit At Risk has taken over bass and gas duties relieving Dustin of 'new guy torture' status and also making Joe look even older but still desirable in a Kurt Russel kind of way, but with way bigger tits and a little lipstick on.

Bottom line: Crucial Unicorn is still a well oiled crotch with a bone to pick, so keep your kids indoors because we're still stompin' out the Santa Cruz kids one by one.

Stay tuned for more updates soon! -CU

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