11/16/07
TOUR UPDATE. THAT’S RIGHT.
First, we want to start by sharing a bit of press we received here in Bend, OR:
"Here at the Source, we're easily impressed by creative band names and Crucial Unicorn sure as hell caught our ear. After all, unicorns are quite crucial, at least in the minds of 7-year-old girls and Napolean Dynamite"
We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
Here's a quick rundown of events:
1) Tom is pretty much broke but orders $10 soy white mocha cinnamon venti lattes from Starbucks multiple times a day.
2) Jon's ass is worse than Dustin's and Toms, and he's proving it on a regular basis.
3) Tom walked into a telephone pole on his way back from the liquor store in chico.
4) Tom fell over on his face when taking off his shoes before he went to bed.
5) Tom walks like a fucking platypus - and he wears diapers too so it is extra weird looking.
6) We think Tom got pissed on by a cat.
7) Joe is wearing some deoderant so that's a little weird.
8) The Los Drybeavers all want to put their cocks in Tai's hot asian ass.
9) Tai used to be in STENCH and CUPCHECK. No, we're not kidding.
10) Dustin gets up before everyone else and talks through a loudspeaker while everyone is sleeping.
11) Don't ever get pizza at a chinese restaurant.
12) Don't ever get bagels at that shithole new york bagels in Chico.
13) Tom fell down again in the middle of the street last night and ate shit when he was trying to meet us at Dennys.
14) Tom is like 14.
15) Tom is talking to some unknown person outside on his cell phone every 10 min.
16) Tom's official email account is his myspace account.
17) Tom unplugs other people's shit so he can charge his cell phone when there are like 10 other outlets in the room.
18) Dustin has a new dagger tattoo on his arm that is kind of like the one going through Joe's boob.
19) The Los Drybeavers got humped/tag teamed last night by some guy from Salinas.
20) Jon's a complete asshole and everyone agrees.
21) Tom thinks he's vegan somehow.
22) Joe and Tai are real lucky Tom is in the band cause otherwise they would have way more shit on this list.
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